“Rolling down the street, smoking indo, sipping on gin and juice,
Snoop’s a man famed for his chronic-smoking capabilities, but with the release of his new wine, Snoop Cali Red, imminent this summer, his Doggy Drinking School® is now in session. For all those wondering “how can I ever transform myself from a bumbling background character to the protagonist of every social gathering?” we’re enrolling you today in the school of the Doggfather. It’s hard to put a finger on it but when you know, you know. There’s a certain indescribable air of confidence that exudes from someone who knows just the right way to hold a glass of wine. With each meme recited and subsequent Netflix show recommendation, the wine splashes against the rim to the beat of every gesticulation. Held with such grace, the glass appears to be the source of the person’s power. Donning robes of the purest satin-or, you know, designer tees and soft leather sneaks-the planetary body around which the entire party revolves stands like a monument to the person you only dream to become. Pushing through the mass of unimpressed strangers, you catch a glimpse.Ī semi-circle of your fellow party people surround one single person. You peak, craning your neck to see the source of such confidence through the fogged-up beer goggles those three Bud-Lights have fastened so snugly around your temples.
You’re at one end of the party, mingling next to the bite-sized quiche all by your lonesome when boom, a roar of laughter erupts from the other end of the room and cuts through the din of smooth jazz playing on the stereo.